Invisible Fences

So, we put our kids into “big kid beds”. Ok, not really. What we really did was remove one side of their cribs, attach a safety bar (so they won’t roll out by accident) and attach a little step ladder to help them climb in and out.

That’s really just splitting hairs, though. They may be sleeping in the same sleeping structure as they previously did, but they are no longer trapped in bed. They could get out whenever they want. Hmmm….

My husband did the work while I was downstairs with the kids and when I saw him coming downstairs with two crib side rails in his hands, I sort of cringed. It was just as much my idea, but I cringed anyway. Goodbye peaceful adult time when the kids are in bed and not asleep. Hello kid proofing the bedrooms so that when they get out of bed and make a mess, it’s not dangerous. Just annoying.

We figured it would be a good idea to let them see their new beds before bedtime, so we asked them to come upstairs. My daughter took one look at her bed and starting giggling. She began jumping up and down. When we suggested she climb into her bed ALL BY HERSELF, she went nuts with joy. She spent the next 15 minutes climbing in and out of bed, alternating with running down the hall shrieking in absolute glee. My son was mildly hesitant initially, but once he saw my daughter’s reaction, he wanted to do the same with his bed.

When it came time for bed that night, they were pleased as punch to climb in ALL BY THEMSELVES. They were so proud.

But here’s the funny part. They didn’t get out of bed that first night. Or at their nap (or rather non-nap) the next day. They played in bed but never got out. You might say it’s because we told them not to and they are good at following rules. But they’re NOT good rule followers. In fact, they normally do the opposite of what we tell them these days. They are 3, after all. So here’ my theory on why they didn’t get out of bed.

I think they didn’t realize they could. I think it didn’t occur to them.  Tonight is night #2. So far so good. Not that I want my kids to see life as a series of limitations, but in this case… well… Yeah. I want them to see the limitations so I can relax.

And, as always… it got me thinking…

How many times have you been asked why you didn’t do something to solve a problem? You know. Something that would have helped you in a difficult situation. And when you are asked why you didn’t, you wanted to smack yourself on the forehead because you should have thought of it, but you didn’t. It just never occurred to you.

I know that I suffer from this “invisible barrier” way too often. I convince myself that something is out of my reach or I simply do not see a possible solution to my problem. I often lack creativity under significant stress.

My husband is the opposite. He does his best thinking under stress. It’s like the pressure ignites his creative planning instead of stalling it. I envy that, being the opposite. How fortunate he is. I’d love that have that trait. He’s the one who suggests that way “outside the box” solution that makes it all work out.

Our kids will love him for that.

I’m going to have to remember this, next time I find myself in the center of a complex problem. I will have to make a point of NOT getting stuck in my symbolic crib when I could easily just climb out. The solution might be just on the other side of the door.