And let the differences emerge...

When I was pregnant with my twins, I used to sit and feel them moving around when they got really excited. Chocolate was pretty good for getting them excited. I’d put my hands on my enormous stomach, one on top of each baby. She would kick and he would wiggle, she’d kick, he’d wiggle… and they would just keep it up until they got tired. Or maybe they just got bored of the game. I joked that the nature of their movements must be an indication of the people they would become. She’d be feisty and he’d be naughty.

When they were born, their differences were evident immediately. Their sleep patterns differed and their needs varied depending on mood and time of day. They may have shared my body and they may always share a birthday, but they are NOT the same person. Far from it.

As they have grown up, the differences have only become more distinct. Her passion, his sense of calm, her independence, his love of cuddles. It’s so much fun getting to know them, watching them get to know themselves.

They are now firmly in the toddler stage, for better or worse. Their identities are blossoming and every day I meet another element of who they are and what they are becoming. It’s incredible.

Here are some examples:

Table manners:

We made chicken and rice for dinner and it was pretty yummy. The kids agreed, they ate a ton of it. The table manners, however… well… let me elaborate.

My daughter is meticulous and detail oriented. She took her fork and painstakingly inserted it into the pile of rice. Then she slowly raised the fork, hand vibrating slightly, to her mouth. You could see on her face that she was PRAYING for it to not fall. Sometimes it worked and sometimes it all fell. She would watch the descent of rice pilaf with despair or smile with glee at the enormous bite of food. Either way, it was a process. And she was determined to do it right. And when it spilled on her chair, she was dismayed. I had to clean it off in order for her to calm down.

My son. Hmmm… he took his hand and shoveled it in. With zeal. I could have sworn a rice bomb exploded around his chair. Seriously, I didn’t know that rice could travel so far. Did it grow legs when I wasn’t looking?  He was in heaven. Between shovels, he would grin at us and exclaim “yummy rice!” and then recommence the food expanding process. We had to laugh. What else can you do?

The backpack:

Now that my kids are in preschool, they have backpacks. His is Elmo and hers is Dora. They LOVE their backpacks. But I can’t get either of them to wear them on their backs. I’m not entirely sure why, not that it really matters.

When we go into school, I ask the kids to hold their own bag and I hold their hands as we walk through the parking lot. It makes me realize how big they are getting.

My daughter holds her bag tightly to her chest, her available arm wrapped around the bag. When I release her other hand she uses that arm to clasp the bag as well. This Dora bag is a blessed item.

My son drags his bag behind him. He loves his Elmo bag, but he’s just not precise or careful. He’s too busy watching the cars and people to think about the backpack. Sometimes he almost trips over it or lets it get in front of his legs, causing him to trip. Luckily, Elmo breaks his fall and ouchies are avoided.

The crib:

My daughter’s crib is her sanctuary. She is an avid collector of every soft toy that enters the house. She has managed to acquire over 90%, I would assume, with the exception of the few that we have called off limits, due to my son’s desire to not lose them as his own. When in her crib, she arranges her little friends and plays games with them. When I tuck her in at night, every toy must go in exactly the right place, and that place differs nightly. It’s quite a process.

My son has a few valued friends in his crib, but his pooh bear is the only one that is truly irreplaceable and invaluable. His other little friends can be wherever, he doesn’t mind. Whatever dude! As long as I have my Pooh bear!

As the kids get older, I look forward to meeting the parts of their personalities that will continue to emerge. I’ll try hard not to predict, it might blind me from seeing their true selves. I’ll do my best to stay open minded, see how it goes.

I’ll hold on tight and enjoy the ride. After all, isn’t that why we have kids?