Merry Christmas and Happy New Year... What are your resolutions?

Today, we were driving in the car, listening to a Disney Christmas CD. Yes, it is as nauseating as you imagine it would be. Goofy singing “all I want for Christmas is my two front teeth” could actually put a woman over the edge. But it keeps the kids quiet and that goes a long way in my world.

 So, we’re driving along and my daughter asks for the song “twinkle, twinkle, Shabbat light. To clarify, this is the tune of “twinkle, twinkle, little star” with the words rewritten for my kids’ Jewish preschool when they celebrate Shabbat.  I almost laughed out loud. It should come as no surprise to me, but my kids don’t get that Jewish Shabbat and Christian Christmas have no real relationship.  Reminded me of bilingual kids that start a sentence in one language, finishing in another… totally unaware that this might cause confusion for some.

We are officially raising our kids inter-faith! Pretty cool, if you ask me.

So, here we are. It’s the holiday season. Thanksgiving has passed and Christmas is rapidly approaching. The air is getting nippy and evidence of the holiday season has erupted everywhere the eye can see.

I LOVE the holiday season. I adore it. The air feels warmer, ironically, as the temperature is actually dropping. (At least where I live…) People are nicer, somehow. And I don’t think that it’s an act. I firmly believe that most people are nice, given the opportunity to slow down and actually see the world they inhabit. But there’s something about the holiday season that brings out the desire to focus on community and sharing. I’ve never actually completed an unbiased study, but my day to day perception is that we are all more likely to hold a door open, smile at a stranger or take an action that will benefit another person even when it poses no benefit to us.

Oh, and I simply adore the tradition of holiday cards. Especially now with the variety of choices for photo cards. All these people spread out geographically, who never see their friends’ kids grow bigger… once a year, we get to see what their family looks like and do a mini catch up on their lives. When we put the cards up on the wall, it’s like we spend our hours surrounded by loved ones. Priceless.

In past blogs, I spent a little time talking about New Year’s resolutions, claiming that these resolutions are often better placed on birthdays. A more personal start and end to the year, one that you share with only a select few. This year, however, my kids just turned 3 and WOW are they 3. Both of them. At the SAME TIME. While I love my twins, it’s sort of a cruel joke. I mean, think about it. BOTH KIDS firmly in the “do it myself” stage, long before they can actually do “it” successfully or within any rational time frame.  Tantrums from both kids because they have wrong color chair… really? Isn’t one of them supposed to be posing different problems, so that my insanity can encompass some variety? Hmmm….

But I mention this not to gripe. I mention it to repent, in a bizarre sort of way. My kids are driving me a little nutty, and I haven’t been as calm in response to this feeling as I would like. I know… we’ve all been there. And I know… I’m probably doing a better job than I am giving myself credit for. This isn’t a new conversation. But I’d like to do better and the approaching New Year has me thinking about change.  New Year’s resolutions are on the brain.

The problem with change, I believe, is the following. We are not who we are as a result of what we do. I actually think it’s the opposite cause and effect. We do what we do as a result of who we are.  So, consequently, if we are to change our actions we have to begin with the most basic and essential questions, posed inward. And we have to answer ourselves honestly. We are obligated to evaluate the parts of ourselves that allow and encourage us to make the choices we make, and to recognize the consequences of these choices.

If we truly want to make changes, then we can’t focus on our actions. We need to focus on our needs and incentives. Simply putting in a calendar reminder to go to the gym doesn’t help me get physically fit. I know that I should go. It’s in my head. When I don’t go, it’s not because I forgot, like an innocently forgotten item on the shopping list. I didn’t forget. For better or worse, I simply did not make it a priority. If I want that to change, I need to rearrange my priorities… and that’s probably the hardest thing to do. For all of us.

So, as 2011 comes to a close and 2012 begins, I would like to extend a wish to each and every one of you!

May your holiday rejuvenate your spirits, so that you have the courage to make the necessary changes in your life.  May you have the perspective to know which agendas truly deserve your energy and attention, and which ones are best discarded in the interests of more sleep or relaxation.

And most importantly, may you have more happiness than stress in this holiday season, so that you begin the New Year refreshed… and ready to make the changes you dream about.