Activist me and adios to Chick-fil-A

I’m feeling conflicted and I’ll tell you why.

I tend to keep my political beliefs quiet, unless I’m engaged in a political discussion. I've never been much of an activist and having too tall a soapbox tends to limit the diversity of my friendships and I enjoy the diversity of my world. I appreciate having friends that view the world from a different viewpoint. Their opinions make me think, evaluate what I truly believe. Sometimes listening to them changes my mind. Other times it teaches me to be more tolerant of those whose beliefs are different from mine.  Either way, the disagreements enrich my life.

I don’t know how many of you have been following the Chick-fil-A situation. It seems that the upper level decision makers of the corporation aren’t too fond of gay rights. I guess it’s not shocking, as it’s a religious company.  I had heard about it before but it’s really exploding now. If I am to believe the media, the company donates a significant amount of money to groups that are actively anti equal rights for the gay population. They are also speaking out against alternative couples and families. Actively.

This point of view is not consistent with my view of the world, to put it mildly. I firmly believe in equal rights for everyone. Everyone. And I don’t believe in limiting the choices of another, especially when that choice poses no threat to me. In the case of gay rights, I find this to be especially relevant. Even if I weren’t pro equal rights (which I am), I wouldn’t feel right advocating a ban.  Nobody is forcing me to marry a woman simply because I would hypothetically have the legal right. I’m not interested in women, so why would I care if someone else does?

The Chick-fil-A situation hits close to home for me. Why? So glad you asked. Because my kids LOVE Chick-fil-A. We can’t even talk about it at home if we aren’t planning to go. We have to use a code name. Oh, and we have to change the code name occasionally because they learn the one we are using and get upset when we can’t go.

I love it because it’s 5 stars for fast food. The food isn’t greasy. The service is great. They even bring your food to the table for you when you have your hands full with kids and come around to offer drink refills. Now THAT’S service. The local restaurant knows me and my kids. They greet us with a warm hello every time. The play area is the icing on the cake. On rainy, cold, snowy or stupidly hot days I can take the kids there. We eat and they play. All is well.

So, I find myself in a highly confounding position. Do I…?

A)     … ignore the fact that this company’s values clash exponentially with my own and continue to patronize the establishment, pretending that my hard earned money isn’t funding a cause that degrades people I love?

B)      … “vote with my feet” as so many have done before and choose to not patronize the restaurant? But how do explain this to my kids who are too young to understand? Is that an overreaction?

When the publicity first emerged, a while back, I ignored it. I rationalized it without too much difficulty, stating that I don’t mix my play dates with politics. But now? It isn’t like my kids are exposed to hate or intolerance when they dine there. But would they if they had two moms? I guess I’ll never really know.

I am further confounded by the knowledge that I am entirely ignorant of the causes funded by other companies I patronize. I don’t know who target supports, I’ve never checked. As they don’t make the news, I can only assume that their donations are less controversial or more discreet. And Target gets more of our annual income than I am willing to acknowledge. Same goes for Starbucks. Would I stop drinking their coffee if I disagreed with the cause?

Just how strongly would I have to disagree? Is this one of THOSE moments where I put my foot down?

The answer to that question came this morning. My husband is traveling and my kids asked about him as I was buckling them in, to go to camp. We agreed that we missed him, and then they decided to tell me all about the people they miss.  At the top of the list were two female friends of mine. Lovely women that also happen to be gay.

And that was it. I can’t give my money to a company that doesn’t accept some of my dearest friends. I’m not angry, mind you. I’m not angry at the company and I’m certainly not angry at any of my friends who don’t disagree with Chick-fil-A’s point of view. We are all entitled to our own views. But I am not willing to endorse what I don’t believe in.

I wonder what battles my children will face when they are my age.