A little tummy rub...

My husband and I are affectionate people. It’s part of who we are, both as ourselves and in our relationship with each other. We use touch to communicate affection, support, agreement and overall positive thought.  It’s not astounding that this habit has passed on to our children. My son was cuddly from day one but my daughter took some months to learn how to truly appreciate and utilize the affection she was receiving. These years later, this is still somewhat true. My son is a cuddle monkey, to the core. My daughter picks her moments to cuddle when she chooses, but does a spectacular job at those times.

During TV time in the afternoon/evening, the kids like to lay themselves all over us to get various parts of their body tickled. Backs, legs, heads, feet, even tummies. You name it; they love to have it tickled. They wiggle themselves into the perfect position and then let their eyes glaze over in contentment as they lay there in an exhausted stupor. With the disappearance of nap, this time of day has become even more essential to their emotional well being, which is not shocking because at the end of the day they are TIRED!.

The other day, my daughter and I took a shower together. This is not uncommon. As the kids get older, the incidences of them jumping into the shower with mom or dad have increased, replacing the more frequent baths of the past.

So, we’re in the shower and my daughter places her little hand gently on my tummy.

Me: “Hey honey. Whatcha doing?”

Her:  (Smiling at me happily) “I’m tickling your tummy (and she starts to tickle). Do you like it?”

Me: “Yes, honey. I do. It feels nice. Thank you. “

Her: “(smiling even bigger) “oh good. Then I’ll do it some more”.

It’s fair to say that I teared up a little. She wanted to make her mommy happy, so she chose to reciprocate in a way that makes HER happy. How wonderful.

And then I had another thought.

I’ll be honest and confess that I do not have a flat tummy. Not even close. No fashion magazine is begging for me to bear myself scantily clad on the cover of their latest issue. I struggled with weight before kids and giving birth to twins did not help. That said, while I strive for my children to have healthy bodies, I do not want to pass on body issues. The fact that I’d like to lose some weight for health reasons is another issue entirely, valid in a totally different discussion.

I could have asked my daughter to leave my pudge alone, or found a reason for her to not touch the parts of my body that cosmetic America say aren’t trim enough. I could have commented that I was fat or even indicated that I didn’t like my body because of the impact she and her brother had upon it. I could have said all these things, but I didn’t. And I’m glad I didn’t.

I want her to like her body, just the way it is. She’s got a beautiful little body. And I’m leading by example.