A tragedy today and some thoughts on our freedom...

The news is filled today, with horrible details regarding an elementary school shooting that left approximately 25 dead, 18 of them young children. Most of the children were in one kindergarten class. I cannot imagine the horror in that school, in that room. I don’t want to imagine the inerasable images left on the minds of the children that survived. It makes me shudder, makes me ill. I stopped watching for my own mental health.

Facebook, true to its identity as social media, is flowing with comments. Some are geared towards the sadness for the families, while others are geared toward gun control.

Typically, I keep my politics to myself. I have made a few exceptions, however, and this blog is one of them. I sincerely apologize to anyone I may accidentally offend, as I am writing this pretty darn upset. 

I do not understand why we, as Americans, refuse to vote for higher gun control. Haven’t we seen the proof that our society can’t handle that kind of freedom with such a lethal weapon? I know… guns don’t kill people, people do. And it’s not that I disagree with that statement. I don’t actually think a gun grew legs, walked itself into a school of innocent children and fired on its own volition. I do fully understand that it was used by a sick and disturbed individual and that HE was the one who killed those innocent souls. 

Those in favor of more relaxed gun laws cite alcohol as an example. They ask if we blame alcohol for alcoholics. As a consumer of alcohol, and not an alcoholic, I guess I am living proof of their argument. I drink, but I don’t drive drunk. If a life is senselessly taken by the actions of a drunk driver, it’s the driver’s fault. Right? It’s not like the alcohol that criminal consumed was different than the alcohol I consume. It was ME who created the distinction. Or rather, my choices. 

And I don’t love the idea of massive government control. I have seen the results of controlling political systems on countries all over the world and the result isn’t pretty. Do I want that for my life, and for the life of my children? No way… 

But I still don’t understand the gun control resistance. WHY does the average human being need access to an arsenal of weapons when they are not a business that mandates the need? Police… fine. Military… fine. Those in rural areas that utilize guns for their farming (or related) business… fine. But the average citizen? 

Why? Tell me why you need those weapons. Why does the city dweller need an Uzi? Would it kill you to sacrifice your right to that weapon for the greater good of our society, for the increased safety of our children? 

And I know… ideally we wouldn’t have to give up those rights. Ideally, our civilization would be civilized enough to handle our weapons (all our weapons) responsibly. Ideally, we would tread our own paths, respecting each other as we go.  We do not live in that world, however, and I would gladly give up many of my “rights” to guarantee my children’s safety in school, in life. Because it’s not about what I want, what I think I deserve. 

It’s about all of us.

The fourth year of my motherhood... at it's end.

4 years ago today, my beautiful little twins were born and rushed to the NICU, because they weren't breathing properly. They stayed for seven weeks, one week short of their real due date.

This morning, my son was extra tired and didn’t want to get out of bed for school.  My daughter climbed into bed with my son to snuggle. They smiled into each other’s eyes and she said to him. "I love you. You're my best friend." He didn’t reply, he simply smiled back in way that spoke volumes. 

It’s safe to assume that I cried like the babies they no longer are. 

We celebrated more officially last weekend, as parties are more fun on the weekend. If you asked the kids on the day of their party, they were 4, despite the calendar’s technical disagreement. It’s less complicated that way. And they are really proud to be 4. It’s pretty darn cute. 

We made it a home party and themed it Mickey and Minnie Mouse. The decorations were fantastically adorable. I had to exercise huge restraint in my purchases. Goody bags were insanely fun to make and the cake turned out beautiful. I actually contacted the bakery to say thank you. They even took my order somewhat last minute when my initial plans fell through. 

We had contemplated a party at an outside venue, a play zone or something, but ultimately decided against it. Our kids have never been totally at ease in those kinds of sites and it didn’t feel right to make them work that hard on their special day. Maybe next year. 

The turnout of the party was fantastic. I could not have been more pleased. 

I look back on the past year, as I suspect many people do on birthdays, I cannot help but feel a significant level of contentment. Funny how retrospect erases the minute and less significant gripes of the time, maintaining the essential. 

My children have made huge strides in the past year. They have met their struggles head on and are confidently perched to do the same with the next batch that arrives in the coming year. They are best friends and are busy making wonderful new friends in school. And you know what makes it even better? I love the friends they are picking. If I were 4, I would pick the same kids to be my friends. Friendly, sweet, cute… They have good taste. 

Shopping trips and outside ventures have gotten significantly easier as the kids learn to cooperate more with my organizational agenda. Oh, and they can now really be reasoned with on a whole new level. 

Today is a good day. A fabulous way to embark on the next year.

Why being famous stinks sometimes... Poor Kate!

My husband, being British, always gets a lot of questions about the royal family. Most of the time he doesn’t know the answer. Always, he couldn’t care less. He’s not really a tabloid or popular culture kind of person, unless its science or government related, for the most part. The royal family and their adventures don’t make his interest list. 

For the most part, I agree with him. That said, I am very much a people person and it’s no wonder that I studied psychology. I love the study of people. I love to study how they think and why they do what they do. I feel badly for them when I see them suffering. Regardless of what part of society they inhabit. 

And that’s the only reason I have paid any attention to the whole debacle of Kate and William, as everyone waits for this precious royal baby. And to tell you the truth, all I feel for them is sympathy. 

When the tabloids first started in on Kate, suspecting pregnancy and detecting that almost invisible baby bump, I cringed. Poor girl… what if she just ate too much the week before and her royal schedule made it impossible to get to the gym? What if she were bloated? I mean really, she is just a woman. And to be honest, she looks really good. I wouldn’t mind having that body or that face. Frankly, she’s beautiful.

Then the media finds out that she is, in fact, pregnant. And they find out because she is admitted to the hospital with pregnancy related symptoms. And they post it everywhere. How nice of them to be so very informative. (Insert heavy dose of sarcasm here) 

We looked online and the given story is that her “symptoms” were basically full blown morning sickness. I hope that’s true, for her sake as a woman. I know lots of women who suffered terrible morning sickness and produced healthy children regardless of their significant discomfort.  In the long run, I guess it’s better for the mom to be sick as hell than the kid to inherit such symptoms. Right?

But what if it’s not morning sickness? What if it really is a serious complication and they were keeping the pregnancy quiet until they could verify that it was without significant risk of miscarriage? It’s pretty early for complications, based on her physical appearance. That would not bode well. 

 I’ve never had a miscarriage but I know many women who have, and they have all been devastated. And THEY didn’t have to share their sadness with, oh, the entire world. I mean really, like it isn’t bad enough to suffer alone or with those that love you. You have to suffer publicly?

No thank you. 

And so, I sincerely hope that Kate is “just” suffering from an enormous case of morning sickness. I hope that she is simply bearing the burden for a beautiful little unborn baby. Because I don’t care how regal she is, how big her house is or how many servants she has… at this moment in life she is a woman, a mom and a wife. Everything else is secondary. 

And I hope it all turns out well for her and the man she loves, because we all deserve to have the healthy family we yearn for.