Psychologists claim that you can evaluate a person by analyzing seemingly irrelevant elements of their behavior. How do they react to traffic? Do they calmly find a good radio station or do they begin to rant at the gods of traffic? How do they treat those that serve them in restaurants? How do they react to seemingly small, daily inconveniences?
I firmly believe that you can evaluate a mom by the diaper bag she uses and what she carries with her when out with her children.
When I was pregnant with my twins, I was always hungry. And I mean ALWAYS. My morning sickness was mostly contained to mornings and once the nausea passed I was famished… all the time. If I didn’t eat immediately, I would begin to feel seriously ill and it all went downhill from there. I was teaching pretty close to full time at that time, so free time was hard to come by, at least by my pre-child standards. I didn’t want to feel sick and I certainly didn’t feel like complaining to anyone. I was thrilled to be pregnant and feeling very happy with life, despite some of the physical discomforts of the pregnancy. In the spirit of making it work, I began arming myself. I always traveled prepared. My purse was always chock full of snacks. I ate during every class and in every meeting. I kept a variety of snacks, most of which were low odor and low noise (for the sake of others) and low mess (as I was frequently eating in typically inappropriate locations and situations). Then the babies arrived and the equation changed entirely.
Have you ever shopped for a diaper bag? It’s like shopping for a car, but more painful. There are different brands, different sizes, different shapes and different colors. It’s totally intimidating. And why are there so many choices? Because every woman has a different approach. Let me elaborate…
Some diaper bags look like “baby”, with Winnie the Pooh or big pink hearts. A woman can carry that, but a man? No way! Some diaper bags look like “mom”. Basically, a woman’s purse but much larger. Think Vera Bradley floral. I don’t know about your situation, but my husband has rarely carried my purse and he would NEVER carry some of those diaper bags I have seen in stores.
Size is another part of this elaborate decision and the size of bag each woman chooses is a true testimonial to who she is and how she operates.
I’ll explain.
The “weekender”: There is actually a diaper bag called the weekender. It’s a larger version of a smaller diaper bag that is the same details (more or less) but miniature. Weekender? I think not… If you can fit a weekends worth of necessities in there, it’s gonna be a short weekend. I think they need to rename it the “twin” diaper bag. Twice the diapers, twice the cups/bottles, twice the everything. It could also be the “Irish twin” diaper bag. For those of you that don’t know the term, Irish twins are two singletons that are so close in age that the mom might as well be caring for twins in many ways. Both in diapers, two sets of sippy cups and bottles, etc.
This kind of mom either has two kids (or more) or she is a big purse woman. Yes, a big purse woman. The kind of woman who carries cold medicine when she doesn’t have a cold and chapstick in summer. The kind of woman who always has extra pens, a book, you name it… She had the mom bag before she was a mom. After all, you have to be prepared for anything, just in case... You never know what might happen. You know the type.
The “midsize” bag: This bag, whether it’s a backpack or messenger bag, is like a medium sized school bag. Enough room for extra diapers but not enough for the kitchen sink.
This kind of mom is prepared, but probably carried a medium size purse in her pre-child life. She either has one child or her second child is out of diapers and old enough to not need so many special supplies. She is a well prepared mom, but not the kitchen sink category. For better or worse, she is more dependent on exterior sources when a need strikes.
The “mini”: Most brands make a diaper bag that is effectively a slightly large purse with a few minor alterations for the purpose. An insulated pocket, waterproof material for spills, etc.
This kind of mom ether only has one kid, doesn’t have any young kids anymore or is officially insane. That, or enviously calm. How do you NOT worry when you have such low levels of supplies? What if you get stuck somewhere, the kids are hungry, and you have no snack? That would not be fun!
The “converted” diaper bag: This bag is the one that is sold for some other purpose, a school bag or a large woman’s purse, possibly.
As this one has potential for all sizes, there isn’t one kind of mom that has this kind of bag. There is an implication of low maintenance, though, or at least non trendy or on a smaller budget. When something is identified as “For baby” there is a significant price hike. It’s similar to the concept of making a white dress more expensive when it’s called a wedding dress. If it were called a “white dress”, it would cost half the price. Most diapers bags, placed in the school supplies section, would be priced much more reasonably.
So what kind of mom am I?
I started with the weekender and it took me a long time to down size, there was just too much stuff that I might need. And when you are outnumbered by two infants, nothing is left to chance. Every possible issue must be accounted for, and I do mean EVERY. When they were about a year old, I dared to downsize. I tried a midsize, but I just couldn’t make it work. I kept finding myself without items that I hadn’t previously judged essential, but then had issues without. Outings were cut short. What a pain. So I moved up in size to a converted diaper bag, an L.L. Bean backpack. It was enormous, stupidly big, but it held coloring books, extra toys, you name it. If you had looked hard enough, you might just have found a kitchen sink. Hey, at least you could wash your hands… right?
Very recently, I found the courage to downsize again. And it seems to be working, finally. After all, my kids are closer to 3 than 2 now. Can you believe it? I certainly can’t. I can’t believe that my kids are so old. I also can’t believe that I have downsized in bags. I have always been a big purse woman, so it’s a challenge for me. But I like a challenge… makes me alert, keeps me strong! J What doesn’t break you makes you stronger!!!
I suggest that each and every one of you check out your diaper bag right now, and do some valuable self analysis. Let me know if you come up with anything interesting.
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