Friday, July 1, 2011

The Magical Items I Really Want...

One of the reasons I watch TV and movies is to get lost. Yes, lost in the lack of reality that is the basis of the plot. Nobody ever REALLY says that their boss, they just think it. If they said it, they would get fired, lose their salary, lose their house and be in pretty big trouble. But you can dream that it’s your reality for that short period of time while you are watching, especially if you just ended a day with a terrible boss. What a lovely escape.

Maybe that’s why I love shows and movies that have a magical premise. While the lives of those characters are rarely simple, they do have access to certain items that I would give my left arm to play with, for just one day. For example…

1-      I want the tiny beaded purse that Hermione carries in one of the later movies, or equally I would take Dora’s talking backpack. Why, you ask..? They are like clown cars. Despite being totally tiny, they carry everything. Dora’s backpack carried two full snow suits, with boots and hats one time. Really? In that little bag that fits on little Dora’s back? Hermione’s lovely little purse carried textbooks, maps, even a full sized family tent. Seriously? And neither bag ever appears to be heavy or cumbersome.  Hmmm…  Fix me up with one of those, please.
2-      Harry Potter’s invisibility cloak. Despite what any naturalist tells you about your observations about animals in the wild, you are not seeing them in their natural state. You are seeing them in their home, while being observed by you. You think they don’t know you are there? Of course they do. Same for your kids. Both of my kids have perfected the helpless act and I frequently have no idea when their pleas for help are justified or if they simply want my attention. I would LOVE to observe them for about 20 minutes when they don’t know I’m there. I wonder what I would learn.
3-      A magic wand, but only if I had Hermione’s grasp of spells. That girl could fix anything with her wand. She could clean a room, find a lost item, you name it. Can you imagine what she could do for my kitchen after a dinner or the playroom after a long day of playing? Ahhh, the dreams things are made of. J
4-      Have you seen the movie “Click” with Adam Sandler? He gets this remote control that lets him move through his life, fast forwarding the boring and obnoxious parts. I watched the movie and it, being an American movie, finished with a sappy moral that life can’t be rushed. All parts have to be appreciated. I wouldn’t mind a very simple version of this remote, though, that just had a volume button. Wow, imagine hearing your child’s temper tantrum at volume 5 instead of 45. Bonus!!!!
5-      “Charmed” (the TV show) gave Piper a really cool power. She could stop time for everyone else except the magical people around her. How awesome is that? You could freeze your kids while you pack the diaper bag or while you go to the bathroom. They could be safe and you could take care of yourself. I might even brush my hair more often. Awesome!
6-      In another episode of “Charmed”, Pru casts a spell to be 3 times more powerful. The catch? Instead of her being 3 times more powerful, she creates two clones. One goes to work; the other solves a magical challenge, while the third works on her romantic disputes. What mom doesn’t dream about that? One mom could make lunch while the other changes diapers. The third could be doing the laundry. FANTASTIC!  The only flaw in that episode is that their common memory split so one Pru did not gain the memory of the others once they split. We would have to correct that detail.

Alas, I recognize that this is but a dream, but what a lovely dream it is. In some ways, it’s actually a comfort, in a bizarre kind of way. In light of the fact that we don’t have these magical luxuries, we will just have to do our best with reality.

So… To all my fellow moms out there, let us dream together as we live in a common reality!

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