Balance

If you are anything like me, you wake up and hit the ground running. Leisurely showers in the morning? Hell, no. Thing of the past. I’m lucky to get a morning shower at all. I have better odds on showering the night before.  Coffee gets made in stages, yes stages, despite the fact that completing the task without interruption would only take 2 minutes. I don’t have those 2 minutes, at least not all at one time. There’s at least on squabble to referee in that time. The minute to minute life of a mom is like that, it’s what they don’t tell you before you have kids. Your time is no longer yours, but neither is your heart.

I am constantly in pursuit of being a healthier person but the “easiest” ways to be healthy don’t seem all that easy to me. I could drink more water, but when would I have time to pee? Have YOU ever tried to fit a double stroller in a public bathroom stall? Trust me, it doesn’t fit. I’ve tried.

Ask any busy person and they will agree, balance in life is a concept that could not be adequately addressed in a thesis. It’s simply too complicated. As a single adult it was complicated. Then you add a partner and children and it seems impossible. When is there time for self improvement when you don’t even have time to think about the basics? Just keeping up with the laundry is daunting.

Quite some time ago I read an article that was meant to assist moms in making choices when it came to their children. When to give in? When to stand your ground? What to do when the answer falls somewhere between? The advice in this article was, in my humble opinion, evidence of pure genius. It was simple, clear and nonjudgmental. Perfection. The author recommended asking yourself the following questions when you find yourself in one of those moments. (My sincere apologies to the genius addressed in the previous sentence. If I could find the article and give you credit, I would)

1-      Does your child doing/not doing this particular action compromise some larger and essential value of your family and its moral system? Is it dangerous?

2-      Is this behavior a symptom of a current issue that is short lived or will giving in send your child the message to repeat his or her actions, creating an unhealthy pattern?

Simple, really, right?  If you answer these questions honestly for yourself, you will rarely go wrong.

My children have always been good eaters, and we have been fortunate to avoid the stressful food battles that so many can’t ignore. (Sleep, however, did not pass us by. That’s a daily issue that appeared early and have never gone away, sadly) But let’s get back to the topic at hand. I haven’t made them a separate dinner more than once a month since they were a year old and we rarely have to argue with them to sit at the table.  They sit, eat the majority of their food and their table manners aren’t too shabby. (Ok, I confess, we worked hard on the table manners because it was important to us, but doing the “right things” had the result we wanted.) Most of the food that gets cleaned off the floor was dropped in good faith and/or due to immature clumsiness or acceptable distraction. I have few complaints.

The last few days I had been a little under the weather, with a minor cold and a slightly sore throat.  Nothing serious, but enough to be a bit uncomfortable. The kids have been a little out of sorts as well, a bit needier than usual. I imagine they might feel a bit like I do, poor kiddos. The other night they weren’t eating very well, despite our reminders and requests. Suddenly, from behind a full plate of uneaten dinner, my daughter put on her cutest and most cunning smile and practically purred “Ice cream, please”. Very professional delivery. Direct eye contact, prompt use of the word please, no whining. Wow, well done kiddo. Part of me was thrilled at her capacity to plan the request so artfully and the other part of me was terrified at how well she did on such short notice. What will she do when she’s a teenager? No, wait, stop…  I’m not ready to think about that. Let’s move on…

I gave her the benefit of the doubt, assumed that she wanted it to soothe her aching throat, and gave them both ice cream. The giggles and smiles were beyond spectacular as two little toddlers dug into kid sized ice cream cups with vigor. Chocolate dripped everywhere and they even used their fingers to wipe out the remaining ice cream from the cup when it was too liquidy to eat with the spoon. Wipe with the fingers, lick the fingers, wipe with the fingers, lick the fingers… giggle and repeat.

I have not had a problem since, plates are cleaned like usual. Precisely what I predicted. Whoever said that a child who hasn’t cleaned the plate should NEVER get ice cream never had 2 year old twins. Trust me.