The Beauty of Imperfect Parenting

We all have our days, great days, with our kids. They wake up happy, eat all their breakfast without a fuss, play happily all morning, sleep like champs… you get the picture. Often times, we play a role in this wonderful pattern by contributing some structure, and being good parents by not messing it up. But we probably didn’t cause it, at least not entirely. Never the less, these are the days I want to clone.

Other days, despite our best efforts, just need to be deleted. The well loved breakfast got dumped on the floor. Why? Who knows? The game that usually calms the tension of fatigue close to naptime fails miserably. Why? Who knows? All we know is that we aren’t have any fun.

I woke up today feeling pretty darn crappy. I started feeling congested a few days ago. By yesterday it was a headache and ear clog. Today it’s out of my head, invading my nose, throat and oh yeah… all the muscles of my body. I’m achy and tired, sneezing and coughing. Fun, fun. I’m not dying and have no intention of pretending I am. No doctor is interested in seeing me. They’ll tell me I have a virus and to rest. I have no intention of calling my husband home because I can function and he has to work. That said, if I were an out of the house worker, I would have called in sick and rested on the sofa. Alas, as a stay at home mom, that’s not so easy. Staying home means being at work.

What do to on such days?

First things first, we have no food in the house. At least no fresh food, and running out of milk just can’t happen. So, before the grumpies could take over, we took a trip to target. My kids LOVE target. They go through phases of asking to go to Target every time we get in the car. It’s hilarious. They love the cool double carts and getting to munch on their snack as we shop. I am not complaining, and I get compliments on their behavior every time. Excellent.

In the produce/bakery aisle, they spot the cookies. Fresh, huge, chocolate chip cookies. If pastries could talk, these cookies would be singing seductively and murmuring “eat me” to the tune of some sort of sexy, saxophone solo. At least that’s what I heard. Immediately, they break out into a chant of “cookie, cookie…” Loud… clear… hilarious… Those of you reading from far away probably could have heard them, had you listened carefully. Normally, I explain that it’s not cookie time and while I move the cart away from the dangerous shelf, I sing “Elmo’s song” to distract them. It tends to work. But my throat hurts and my voice is mostly gone. I don’t want to sing. Cookies it is! I opened the box, gave them each a cookie and closed it up so that I could pay for the box at checkout.  Two fantastically happy little toddlers munch on the cookies and giggle while I finish shopping.

When we got home, after a beautiful and cooperative trip, they asked for TV time. Normally, TV time is reserved for the afternoon post-nap. I’m not anti-TV or anything; I just think that it warrants the “in moderation” that is attributed to so many other elements of this modern world. Today… yup, you guessed it.  “Elmo or Thomas? “ We sat on the sofa, watched Sesame Street, played quietly and cuddled.

I made them their favorite lunch (Mac and Cheese) and we played quietly until naptime.

According to a checklist that could probably be found in some parenting magazine, I haven’t done very well today.

• My kids have not really played outside, despite it being a beautiful day.
• I haven’t really engaged them on the floor with their toy food and puzzles like I normally would.
• I have let them watch way too much TV.
• I forgot to cut them a veggie to go with their Mac and cheese, but was too lazy to get back up and do it.
• Oh, and I gave them cookies the size of their heads an hour after breakfast.

Bad mommy…

On the other hand, I have not had any tantrums to tame. Not a single request for a hug or kiss has been denied. While they have been somewhat sedate (probably because they don’t know what to do with the me that doesn’t run around and sing) but they have been very content. I have been brought a veritable buffet of plastic food to “taste” while I sat on my adult chair. We have all survived. Ahhhh….

Whatever I did to make that happen… for one day, is that so bad?