While parenting a child in the first few months of his/her life is BY FAR the hardest months in many ways, at least you don’t have discipline. I mean really, when’s the last time a 3 month old did something wrong on purpose?
They don’t sleep very long, granted, and they have an inane ability to know when your food is hot and on your plate. This is always the time when they scream, spit up, or poop through their clothing. Whatever. Just as long as you don’t get to eat your food at the correct temperature. But… at least it’s not intentional. Developmentally, they aren’t there yet. YET…
Bedtime at home has become, well… let’s just call it an event. We have a wonderful babysitter/part time nanny who I trust wholeheartedly with my kids. I have left them with her sick, knowing that they would get all the love they could possibly need. I have left them screaming in tantrum, because I know that she will do a great job calming them down. And if she’s not successful, then it probably wouldn’t have worked for me either. Oh well, they’ll survive. The one responsibility we do not give her is bedtime; we always leave after putting the kids down to bed. Why would we give her that job, on her own, when my husband and I work hard to avoid giving that job to each other alone? My kids are good, but bedtime is a high maintenance job when the ratio is 1:1, 1:2 is a nightmare for the experienced. At this point, we’d be setting her up for failure.
There was a point, a few months back, when I contemplated passing her the bedtime job. Then my son realized he was 2. I changed my mind.
Getting him ready for bed is a sweat inducing, heart pounding and highly frustrating episode. He finds nothing funnier than to make every step an ordeal, laughing hysterically and going totally boneless at the same time. Fun, fun, fun… The last few weeks he has gotten away from us and stood his ground on the other side of the room, feet planted firmly with a “how much is it worth to you?” expression on his tiny, little man face. Oy vay…Is this where it starts? He clearly has no idea how much we look forward to the adult time or he might not be so confident.
We are pretty good about discipline in daily life and our methods have always been relatively conservative, but mostly successful. The kitchen table is one example. We were quite strict about table manners and we now have kids that can eat quite nicely and happily in most family friendly restaurants.
We tend to stay away from discipline at sleep associated times, however, if at all possible. Sleep has always been a “four letter word” and adding the stress of an unhappy, disciplined kid to the mix doesn’t seem too wise. Sadly, the other night, that possibility went away. Yuck…
I’ll give you the events in list form.
1- My son plants himself in protest across the room, turns around and plays with a toy.
2- I inform him that I am counting to 3. If I get to 3, he loses his bedtime books. (Strong words, right? He LOVES his books…)
3- My son turns, with a “not a chance” look and keeps playing. (Uh oh…)
4- I start to count, slowly and with purpose. He doesn’t budge.
5- I get to 3. (Oh crap! Now I have to mess with bedtime)
6- Husband takes sister into her room and reads her books while I wrestle my son into his pajamas. (Yes, wrestle is the right word. I’m not exaggerating. )
7- Once pajamas are successfully applied, I pick up my son, kiss him, tell him I love him and put him in his crib. (expectant pause)
8- His face EXPLODES. Once again, not exaggerating. Ahhhhh…. Clearly he didn’t think I would follow through. He asks for books, I tell him no. I explain, again, why he lost his books and tell him I hope tomorrow will be different.
9- I leave to furious screaming.
About 5 minutes later, I look on our video monitor and don’t see him. Oh double crap! He has thrown himself out of the crib, along with all his toys. I rush upstairs and find him pacing the room furiously. Hamper is overturned and upon seeing me, he gives me one of the angriest and most incredulous looks I have ever seen on his face. I am proud to say I didn’t laugh, or even break a smile (until later when I told my husband about the whole scene, of course). I cleaned up the evidence and rocked him to calm. I reminded him how much I love him, kissed him and put him back in bed. Then I FIRMLY told him it was bedtime and he was to stay in the crib and go to sleep.
Thank goodness he listened. Clearly he had no idea that I had no follow up plan. I’m working on that one right now. J
No comments:
Post a Comment