Purring.....

When life gets really busy, we are forced to let go of something and rearrange our priorities to make it all fit.  For me, one of the activities that gets eliminated is reading. This is tragic, as I love to read. Books, for me, are like music. There are many different kinds and they each serve their own purpose. You know, you don’t have a dance party to Mozart.

There are highly intellectual books that are wonderful for expanding vocabulary and introducing your brain to really deep analytical thinking. Terrible for when you are exhausted, though. There are fun/trashy novels, with really racy romance and stupidly formulaic plots. While these are certainly not winning any awards, they are a hell of a lot of fun to read on a beach or on a summer evening with a beer/glass of wine/piña colada. There are those books that are designed to be informative, but are laced with humor. I read a lot of those around the time the kids were born and I found them to be much informative than the textbooky ones written by “real” experts.

And then, there is “Chicken soup for the Soul.” There is a soft, cheesy part of my soul that loves these books. For those of you that don’t know, “Chicken Soup for the Soul” is a series of books that contain multiple vignettes, written by different authors. They are totally emotional and insanely sappy. If you are ready for a good cry but can’t quite arrange an exit for the tears, this is the book for you. Waterworks in no time.  

A while back, I read one about a little girl and her cat. The cat, a black cat, was named “Blackie” of course and he had a purr that vibrated his whole body. He would lie down and look at his owners with eyes that were just begging for a rub and when they conceded to his wishes he would bring on the rumbling and purring in sheer delight. The story was written by the dad and he quoted his daughter as saying, “Daddy, Blackie wants to be purred”. The moral of this short vignette was that everyone wanted to be purred, and that truly taking care of someone is about figuring out how to accomplish that goal and do it as often as possible. I loved it.

And I agree, wholeheartedly so. I love it that when we sit on the sofa in the evening, too tired to think (much less talk) my husband will absentmindedly tickle my leg while he checks his email and reads up on world events. It “purrs” me. Ironically, he tends to tickle my right leg when we are in the car and now my daughter grabs my hand, puts it on her leg and commands “mommy tickle leg”. When I comply, a contented smile covers her face. She loves it too. My son has his “mommy movie seat” and simply adores sitting in my lap a very specific way when we watch our afternoon DVD. Now that he’s older and more active, he doesn’t always want to sit in my lap, but if he wants to sit it must be that way with no variation tolerated. He must be able to put his cheek against mine. I love it. Who cares that I can’t get anything done? This is really essential cuddle time! Besides, he used to sit that way every time, so I’m taking it when I can get it.

What really astounds me about this whole “purring thing” is that the action that purrs us is often quite simple, is rarely expensive and could most likely be incorporated into the busy daily routine if we just made a point of not letting it escape. So why DO we let it escape? Especially us moms. We spend so much time taking care of our kids, the house, the meals… do we make time for ourselves to, oh, read a book? Of course not. We are too busy being functional, trying to keep up. And our kids see it, every time and every day. They internalize it.

 If we really want to teach our children how to be good, attentive people who care for others and themselves, then don’t we have to practice what we preach? Because, really, they aren’t listening what we say. They are watching what we do.