The Packrat's Guide to Spring Cleaning in Summer

I’m a packrat. There, I said it… It kills me to throw things away. I keep ridiculous things, things that I didn’t even like that much when I first got them. I save shoes I haven’t worn in years, tank tops that are stained and unwearable, and books that I will never read again. Why, you ask? I don’t know… Maybe it’s that I simply cannot ignore that little, nagging voice in the back of my head that says, “Wait, what if you really want that silly looking polka dotted tank top in size small, like, next week!!??” Right… Like that’s gonna happen. Even if I found it stylish, it wouldn’t fit and (let’s be honest) it never will again. That, combined with the very slight chance of an upcoming costume party… Still, that voice of anti-reason wins 90% of the time and I put that darn tank top right back on the shelf. Ahhhh. Maybe I’m hopeless.

Every summer or vacation, I decide that I am going to get the house in order. No more mess! That closet that desperately needs to be cleaned out, now’s the time. I’m not teaching, so it’s perfect timing, right? That desk drawer that is overflowing. Why, I think I’ll tackle that one too. And I mean it, I really do. My sincerity is unbreakable.  It’s just that when I make that ambitious plan, I fail to think about certain realities.

1-      I am a packrat. I know that I said this before, but I thought that I would remind you, as I clearly need to be reminded, myself. When’s the last time a packrat got that much cleaning up done in a short period of time? The only exception that comes to mind is pre-moving where the momentum of the stress overrides any natural tendencies you have in daily life.

2-      I am a procrastinator. Yes, I put things off. (As a side note, did you know that the French language doesn’t have a verb equivalent for procrastinate? If you want to translate that particular sentiment, you have to translate the expression “to put off until later”. Right, like that describes the sentiment properly… I think not!  It totally loses the judgment that you SHOULD have done it earlier.) Anyway, being a procrastinator, I would rather do almost anything except the one activity that I dread. In this case, cleaning up. I check my email, I do the dishes, I plan dinner, I cook dinner, I make doctors appointments… you name it. I am frequently productive in the other areas of our life, but I don’t clean up. Sound familiar?

3-      I have too much stuff to begin with. That means the job is already an enormous job. Now, you could be a wise guy and tell me that if I didn’t give in to my packrat tendencies and then procrastinate cleaning up, I wouldn’t have too much stuff. Fine, be that way! See if I care.

4-      I am already busy keeping up with daily life, with two kids. Actually, this is the only excuse that I don’t feel silly mentioning, as it’s really the most valid one, in my mind. Keeping up with 2 toddlers is exhausting. There is a ton to do, just to maintain daily life. Sometimes, when I do find “free time”, I just don’t have the mental energy to be productive. Despite the way I rightfully, chastise myself for the earlier excuses, I allow myself this excuse. I deserve to just sit down sometimes, and I’m ok with that.

It’s summer, as you know, and that time has come again. I have promised my husband, and myself, that I will get this crazy house in order while I’m not working out of the home. Progress has been slow, for the reasons mentioned above.

Which is why I added an item to my “to do” list: cleaning out the kids’ toys. Words cannot describe my inability to get rid of the toys that are no longer relevant, and this shows in the monstrosity of toys that take over our family room. When the kids have play dates, every toy gets taken out and you can’t walk without stepping on or tripping over something plastic. It has elements of horrifying, in a benign sort of way.

And I run into one additional problem. I’m a huge sap. When I look at the toys they used to play with, I don’t see the toy. I see my kids playing with the toy. I imagine them, in an earlier stage, before they had a certain skill or learned a certain word. I begin to daydream about the sweet way they used to be in that previous time and something comes over me. I can’t part with the toy. It’s like letting the memory go, and I just can’t do it. Like I said, I’m hopeless.

So my goal for the coming weeks is to overcome one small part of my incompetence. I WILL go through their toys and I WILL put a pile of them in the basement, followed by giving them away or selling them. When I struggle to let go, I will create a mental picture of my child handing this toy to a friend’s child. In my fantasy, the child on the receiving end will smile, giggle, and fall in love with the toy instantly. I know, it’s nuts. I’m a lunatic. Maybe the kid won’t even like it, but that’s not the point. If my mental insanity gets the toys out of my house, who cares?