If I were going to break into a building, and I didn’t want to be noticed, I wouldn’t use the front door. And I certainly wouldn’t sneak. I would use the side door and I would do it casually, as if I were maintenance. If someone approached, I would keep working as if it were the most natural thing in the world. How often do you think thieves “hide” in plain sight?
My husband is one of those “under the radar” mischief kind of people. You know… the ones who seem to be going quietly about their business and then something happens. And it happened right where they had been working. Right, one of those. The last one you would suspect and yet quite willing and able to be the culprit.
My son has caught that trait, while my daughter has not. Allow me to illustrate my point. We do not allow the kids to bring toys to the table. This is partly to avoid distraction, but it’s also a mess issue. Nobody wants a sacred stuffed animal covered in ketchup. Yuck. The other day, my daughter was making a scene about bringing some toys to the table. Big fuss. In her mind, she was going to win this battle. Sigh.
A minute or so later, when we had convinced her to retreat, I looked more carefully at my son. There he was, sitting quietly in his seat with a lap full of toys. Why make a fuss and get caught when you can do it quietly and let it go unnoticed? Thanks Sis, for the distraction.
What will this trait look like when he’s a teenager? I shudder to think about it.
Having two children firmly implanted in the contrary phase, I am starting to take notes from my son and my husband. Despite having my daughter’s temperament, I am going to make my son’s choices. No more front door. The side door it is.
We were sitting in the booth, at dinner. My daughter thought it would be fun to stand up and bounce on the seat. Hmmm…. Maybe not the best idea. Beyond the safety issue (falling down, etc), she was shaking the table and it was most likely shaking the booth behind us. Not fair to the other guests. If they wanted a vibrating chair, they would have frequented a different establishment.
This was, in my humble opinion, a moment of good parenting. My patience wasn’t fried, I hadn’t been dealing with continuous crying and I had not solo parented all day. This helps, a lot. So, I looked at my lovely little girl and informed her quite directly and benignly that “big girls” sit down on their bottoms in restaurants. Then I smiled sweetly. Pause… Down she went. I guess she considers herself a big girl now.
When it came time to leave the restaurant, I informed both my kids that “big boys and big girls” walk nicely in restaurants and hold hands. I guess he feels the same way, because it worked.
Let’s just say I found great success using the side door. I’ll have to remind myself about that more often.
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