Ahhh… Vacation. That blessed time when you get away from your life. I love vacation. Out of sheer intellectual curiosity, I looked up the origin of the word “vacation. According to a website I found, it comes from the Latin word “vacare” which means “free” or “empty”. I had always thought of the “vacate”, as in emptying your mind from the daily grind. I guess I was pretty close.
Free and empty. Hmm… When I read those words, I was hit by a series of emotions.
1- Serenity. A period of time, however short, that is void of the responsibilities and stresses of everyday life. Sort of a nice feeling, when you get right down to it. Work to do? No way! You’re on vacation. This reaction must have come from my pre-child days because vacations, as lovely as they may be, are not serene anymore. Fulfilling, quite possibly. Exciting, most likely. Serene? No, not really. But that’s ok. I knew that going into this parenthood thing.
2- Irony. Free and empty? Not of stress. I certainly don’t feel that way while packing. You should see my 2 page, categorized packing list. And that’s the updated version. When the kids were younger, it was 3 pages. It’s nuts. Packing before kids, while not simple, was certainly not what it has become now. Really? How can two people, so small, require so much stuff and so much precision?
3- Excitement. Even though technology has us much less disconnected while not home (for better and for worse), we do still get to be away from home. All those home projects that we have been working on or stressing out about avoiding… not possible when you’re not home. No need to be concerned. More dinners out, so less cooking and less dishes. The kids get to see a new place, or at least a place they see less frequently and are stunned into good behavior.
4- Relief. For that period of time, I am not a sole care taker of my kids, I am a co-parent. I love that, love it more than I know how to explain.
I read a quote somewhere that claimed a family vacation was not really a vacation, it was a business trip. That’s partly true. Pre kids, a vacation to the beach was really relaxing. You brought your book and some music, a smallish towel and some sunscreen. You plunked your butt on the beach and tanned. When you got warm, you went into the water to cool off or took a walk. You went for lunch when you got hungry, took an afternoon nap and went out for dinner. Ahhhh, paradise. If it rained, you went to the movies. No problem.
Now, forget it. Your arrival at the beach looks like the landing at Normandy, except YOU have more stuff. The kids don’t want to walk on hot sand so you end up carrying them, along with all the paraphernalia, which is quite a sight to behold. Snack time with sand covered hands is, uhm, eventful and getting them changed and back into the car is a spectacle of gargantuan proportions.
Fortunately for all concerned, between the stressful moments are the squeals of glee, the exuberant rolling in the sand and the fantastic sand castles… so it’s worth it.
Don’t even get me started on sleeping arrangements and trying to get two kids to nap in one room when they sleep in separate rooms at home. Woo hoo, slumber party!!!!!
This week, we are visiting my parents. I have no doubts about how my parents raised my brother and me, but I also have no doubts that they have forgotten what it means to toddler proof a house. And it’s hard to blame them; it’s been a long time. I spend the first day picking up fragile items and large metal contraptions that are doomed to cause issue. I feel like an interior decorator, but with different intentions.
Overall, though, the visits go quite well. They get better as the kids get older and more flexible. I appreciate this more than I can express, as the earlier years were interesting. Simply trying to function with two very little kids is hard enough. Off your home turf, it can become almost impossible. It sort of takes the joy out of vacation to have your stress multiplied instead of divided.
So, this week, I intend to be on vacation. What does that mean? I will read my book. Yes, damn it, I will. And maybe I’ll even finish it and start another one. Wow. I will get my coffee before 10am. Yes! With so many adult hands around, I may even finish it before it gets cold. I will let someone else make the kids’ breakfast and I will drink wine with dinner.
Sounds luxurious, huh? Don’t’ laugh. It does to me…
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